Best Funny Quotes w/ Author

--- "I didn't give you the finger. You earned it"  -  Benjamin Franklin

--- "Kids have so many food allergies these days. In 15 years you’ll be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts" - Batman

--- "You can test my patience all you want, but I’m never going to pass" - Cap n' Crunch

--- "I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I ever buy cheap toilet paper" - Ronald McDonald

--- "A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone" - Samuel L Jackson

--- "Fart" - Dr.Mabuse

--- "You can tell a lot about a woman's mood by her hands. For instance, if they're placed around your neck, she's probably slightly angry" - Homer Simpson

--- "How do people grow a boneless chicken?" - Podolski

--- "I don't understand why people pay therapists when I'll tell them what's wrong with them for free" - Mr.Hanky, the Christmas Poo

Add your own - Or don't. I don't care.

"There is something about this that makes me feel uneasy, which makes me feel horny" - My friend Oliver

"Isn't a black hole like a.... giant space toilet?" - Podolski

"You sir, are a Racist!" - Geoffrey Bloom, former UKIP MEP.

"Spin it round, up and down, stick it in her mouth. Pull it out, slap it about, cum on her head like a water spout!" - A Podolski Classic

"Economics is for pussies." - Alejandro Whyatt Miranda

"Vegetarians are Vegi-fags." - William Harland Hackenschmidt.

"Yeh. Most of these quotes are from some friends at school that none of you guys will know. Meh, I post em anyway just to fit in. Everyone loves Podolski." - Podolski

Cory in the House is the best anime of all times -mofu23


Nyesss!- Salamander Man



Gibe da pussi b0ss! -Pink Guy


Weeaboo trash - Filthy Frank

"I went to con artist school to learn how to con people. They took all my money and didn't educate me at all. The bastards." - Podolski